By: Kyle Idleman
One night I received a call around 9:00 in the evening from a good friend of mine whose wedding I had performed. He told me he and his wife were getting a divorce. I asked, “Well, why don’t you come in and let’s just talk for a little bit. Can we talk? Can we at least do that?” “There’s no point in talking,” he responded. I said, “Well, just the two of you go see a counselor. It’s worth that. Just go visit one time. I’ll pay for it. Just go one time.” He said, “No, you don’t understand. I’m not calling for help. I’m calling to tell you its over.” Then he said, “The situation is hopeless.”
Do you know what it is to be hopeless?
You can’t see past the diabetes or the dialysis.
Your child has gone prodigal and you can’t imagine ever seeing his shadow coming down the road towards home.
Your career is stuck at the end of a dead-end road.
You can’t see past the pile of bills
You can’t imagine life without chemotherapy.
Hopelessness is blinding.
But when we follow Jesus, something changes. Well, something can change. Paul, in Romans 5:5, speaks of a hope that doesn’t disappoint, a hope that flows no matter the situation. I don’t know about you, but I am interested in a hope like that.
It has been my experience that hope almost inevitably leads to disappointment. We are by nature hopers. We are always hoping. But it seems like we are almost always disappointed.
I think back to my daughter Macy’s sixth birthday. She had been looking forward to it and had the whole day planned out. In the morning, I would take her and two friends to Chuck E. Cheese for breakfast. From Chuck E. Cheese we would go to Champ’s Rollerdrome for roller-skating. Next we would go out to Huber’s Farm. After Huber’s Farm we were to go to Build-a-Bear Workshop. Then after Build-a-Bear Workshop we would go to Puzzles Fun Dome, where we would open up her presents and eat pizza a second time. She had even gone to the trouble of making a list of presents she wanted. She had her older sister transcribe it for her. There were twenty-five items on the list: a CD player, play make-up, pink hair coloring, and an Easy-Bake oven with three packs of food. Number twelve on the list was chocolate ice cream. Number thirteen said, “More chocolate ice cream.” And, finally, a Dalmatian and a pony.
Let me tell you how her birthday actually unfolded. She woke up and went to school. Going to school wasn’t on her list. She then had a doctor’s appointment. After that we did go to Build-a-Bear Workshop, after which we had dinner at On The Border. We returned home to open up presents, none of which exceeded $40 in value. (I am sad to report there was no Dalmatian and no pony.) That was how her day went. She had a great time. It was a lot of fun, but it wasn’t what she was hoping for.
I think that day is probably a microcosm of what her life will be like. We are all always hoping and almost always disappointed. We hope to make the team and hope to get invited to the prom. We hope to get into the right school. We hope to get married. We hope to get the promotion. We hope to have kids. We hope that one day those kids will leave the house. We hope for an early retirement. We hope for good health. We’re always hoping, and it seems like along the way there is a lot of disappointment in life. You don’t make the team or get invited to the prom. You don’t get the right job or you’ve had it up to here with your kids.
I’ve noticed that even when we get what we hoped for, often we still find that we’re disappointed. Things don’t live up to our expectations. John Cheever put it this way, “The main emotion of the American adult who has had all the advantages of wealth, education and culture is disappointment.” And, after enough disappointment, we lower our expectations and we settle. We accept that this is the way life is.
It doesn’t have to be. Remember in Romans 5 Paul said he found a hope that doesn’t disappoint? He writes about it in Philippians 3. He says, in verse 1, “Finally, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord!” Paul is writing under house arrest, chained to a Roman guard, he could be executed at any time, and yet continually throughout Philippians he writes about joy. Why? Because he had put his hope in the right thing. As a follower (not a fan) of Jesus, he had put his hope in Jesus.
He goes on to warn his readers in Philippi not to fall into the trap of putting their hope in the wrong things. It’s so easy to do.
Paul writes about false teachers, who were fans of Jesus, but who thought that it was Jesus plus something else. “Yes, Jesus, sure, we need Jesus, but we also need to center our lives and put our hope in something else.” Paul makes it clear that for followers, it’s not Jesus plus anything. We put our hope in Jesus and, if we do, we’ll never be disappointed.
Paul goes on to mention other things he might be tempted to put his trust in, and then declares, “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” The things on Paul’s list weren’t wrong. They were fine. But Paul says if they become too valuable, when we put our hope in them, problems arise and disappointment awaits. So, Paul says, “Compared to knowing Christ all of these other things are really just garbage.”
Have you ever thrown away something valuable? I have. It happened several years ago. I walked out into our garage during garbage day and on the side of the garage there were four garbage bags lined up in a row. I grabbed them, put them in the garbage can and wheeled them out to the street. Later that afternoon, my wife called me and said, “Kyle, did you take out all the garbage bags?” I knew I was about to receive a little well-deserved praise, a thank-you for the hard work and sacrifices I make around the home. I said, “Yes, honey, I did. I took out all the garbage bags, even the ones over on the side.” That’s when she informed me that those garbage bags were full of her maternity clothes and the maternity clothes of my sister that she had borrowed and that they both planned to use again at some point in the future. Then she explained to me the value, the cost, and the difficulty of shopping for quality maternity clothes. She ended with, “We’ll talk about this when you get home.” I stayed at the office a little longer that day.
Some things don’t seem to belong in the garbage. That’s exactly how Paul’s readers would have seen the list of his accomplishments he was tempted to put his hope in. They were very valuable things. But Paul says, “No, compared to knowing Christ it’s all garbage.”
I think of things we can be tempted to put our hope in:
- Job
- Education
- Marriage
- Parents
- The success of our kids.
- Financial security
All good things, all valuable things, but, compared to knowing and following Jesus, all rubbish.
Beyond rubbish, they’re all ultimately disappointing. In the end, they won’t do for us what we wanted, won’t live up to our expectations. Fortunately, followers have another option because there is a hope that doesn’t disappoint. His name is Jesus.
Are you a Fan or Follower of Jesus?
Take a look at your relationship with God and truthfully ask yourself, “am I a fan or follower of Jesus?” In QAVA’s Bible Study, not a fan, follow the journey of Eric Nelson, a man leading a triple life. When confronted with a near death experience, Eric embarks on a spiritual journey that transforms his commitment to Jesus and tests the faith of his friends and family with teaching from Kyle Idleman.
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